Why Summer Might Be the Most Important Part of Your Child's Recovery

"They're a completely different child now school's finished."

It's something I hear from parents every single year.

Sometimes it's said with relief.

Sometimes with confusion.

And sometimes with worry.

"They've slept until lunchtime every day."

"All they want to do is play on the Xbox."

"They're more emotional than ever."

"I thought things would get better once school finished, but they actually seem worse."

If you've found yourself thinking any of those things over the first few weeks of the holidays, I want to reassure you...

There is a reason this happens.

And no, it doesn't mean you've got it wrong.

Summer isn't just a holiday...

For many children, summer is the first opportunity their bodies have had to stop surviving.

If your child has spent months masking, coping, pushing through anxiety, managing sensory overload or simply trying to hold everything together, their body has been working incredibly hard.

Imagine carrying a heavy backpack every single day.

You might not notice how heavy it is while you're walking.

But the moment you put it down...

Your shoulders ache.

Your legs feel tired.

You realise just how much energy you've been using.

Children can experience something very similar.

Throughout the school year, many are carrying an invisible backpack full of stress, uncertainty, sensory overload, social demands, and emotional exhaustion.

When school finishes...

That backpack comes off.

And suddenly their body says,

"I'm exhausted."

Recovery doesn't always look how we expect.

Many of us imagine summer looking like:

Trips out.

Playing with friends.

Family adventures.

Days packed with activities.

But for children who have been living in survival mode, recovery often looks very different.

It can look like:

Sleeping more.

Wanting to stay at home.

Spending hours building with Lego.

Playing the same game repeatedly.

Watching familiar programmes.

Needing lots of downtime.

Eating more.

Eating less.

Wanting you close.

Not wanting to talk.

These aren't necessarily signs that something is wrong.

Sometimes they're signs that your child's body finally feels safe enough to begin recovering.

"But all they're doing is playing on screens..."

This is probably one of the biggest worries parents share with me.

"I don't want them on screens all summer."

Neither do I.

But before we rush to remove them, let's become curious.

Ask yourself:

What is the screen giving my child?

Is it predictability?

Control?

Connection with friends?

An escape from overwhelming thoughts?

A chance to rest without demands?

Sometimes screens become a safe space for children whose minds and bodies have simply had enough.

That doesn't mean unlimited screen time is always the answer.

But understanding why they're seeking it helps us respond with compassion rather than conflict.

What if they're more emotional now?

This often surprises parents.

School has finished...

So why are the meltdowns bigger?

Think about yourself for a moment.

Have you ever held yourself together through a really stressful week...

Only to cry on Friday night?

Or become ill the first day of your holiday?

Our bodies often wait until we feel safe before letting everything out.

Children are no different.

When the pressure eases, emotions that have been held inside for weeks or months can begin to surface.

That doesn't mean things are getting worse.

Sometimes it's the beginning of healing.

Recovery isn't about doing nothing.

This is really important.

Recovery doesn't mean children should simply stay in bed for six weeks.

Recovery is about finding the balance between rest and gentle opportunities to reconnect with life.

That might look like:

• Going for a short walk with the dog.

• Helping make pancakes.

• Building a den in the living room.

• Ten minutes in the garden.

• Visiting somewhere quiet.

• Playing a board game.

• Watching a favourite film together.

• Listening to music.

• Drawing.

• Having an ice cream at the beach.

None of these activities is about achievement.

They're about helping your child's body experience moments of safety, enjoyment and connection again.

What can you do this summer?

Here are five simple ideas to start with.

1. Slow the pace.

Not every day needs a plan.

Sometimes the most valuable thing we can give children is space to simply be.

2. Follow their interests.

Children recover best when they feel engaged in activities they genuinely enjoy.

Whether that's Minecraft, baking, football, dinosaurs or collecting sticks, those interests matter.

3. Notice before you change.

Before introducing new routines or encouraging more activity, spend time noticing.

When do they seem calm?

When do they laugh?

When do they become overwhelmed?

Curiosity tells us far more than assumptions.

4. Keep connection bigger than correction.

If your child becomes frustrated, withdrawn or emotional, ask yourself:

"What might they need right now?"

Instead of,

"How do I stop this behaviour?"

That one small shift changes everything.

5. Remember that recovery isn't linear.

Some days they'll seem happier.

Other days they'll seem exhausted again.

Some mornings they'll want to go out.

The next day they won't even get dressed.

Recovery rarely moves in a straight line.

And that's okay.

Please don't compare your summer to anyone else's.

Social media is full of family holidays, day trips and perfectly planned activities.

But your child's journey is unique.

Success this summer might not look like a packed calendar.

It might look like:

Sleeping through the night.

Laughing again.

Joining you on a short walk.

Eating dinner together.

Playing with a sibling.

Smiling more often.

Feeling safe enough to say,

"Can we go out today?"

Those small moments matter.

In fact, they're often the biggest signs that recovery is beginning.

A final thought...

If this school year has been hard, you don't need to spend the summer trying to fix everything before September.

You don't need all the answers today.

You don't need to create the perfect routine.

Your child doesn't need a perfect parent.

They need someone willing to slow down, become curious, and walk alongside them.

Recovery happens one small step at a time.

And those small steps really do add up.

Want a little extra support this summer?

That's exactly why I created the Summer Pocket Coach.

For just £10, you'll receive a Daily Recovery Coach message each weekday throughout the summer holidays, filled with practical ideas, simple explanations and gentle encouragement to help you better understand your child and support their recovery.

You'll also receive access to my live workshop, Preparing for September When School Feels Hard, where we'll explore practical ways to help your child feel more prepared for whatever September may bring.

Because sometimes, having someone walking alongside you can make all the difference.

You've got this, and I'll be here to help.